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can

2006-08-18T02:03:00.000-05:00

you blame me for taking a break? forcing a post everyday was making them quite pathetic. i love big lots. i hate 2 am tv. i also hate the stupid bandwagon that keeps me up until 2, but that doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. i refuse to embrace it and hearing about it almost everyday is driving me nuts. i don't like it. mentioning it all of the time is not going to bring me around. what's up with that anyway? are you looking for a different reaction? how about a little action on your end? i like online movie rentals. that is until medium comes back. although football will be taking over that slot soon. arrgggghhhh. does anyone watch daisy cooks? that lady really likes her own food. she almost comes to a full orgasm every episode. i'm ordering all of the dvds. we're having a halloween party, so start working on your costume.

adrenaline

2005-07-01T10:47:00.000-05:00

was crazy flowing through my veins and i had to steady out my breathing this morning after a semi almost squeezed me between it and the sidewall. i was cruising in my lane and i was about half way past the trailer of the semi when i noticed it starting to merge into my lane. my first thought was that i could take the shoulder if he continues. then i noticed that the shoulder was ending and was being replaced by a nice concrete wall that was tight to the road. so then i started to get a bit nervous about being the middle of the semi - concrete wall sandwich. i jammed on the horn while jamming on the gas and he didn't hear me and was still coming. right when i didn't have anymore room.....the shoulder came back and i took it throwing up dust all over and then swerving back onto the highway. then i had to start the whole, calm down, you're cool, exercise before i hyperventilated (which i use to do during the huge, no show just loud explosion fireworks when i was little and we were parked right next to them). then i finally arrived to work to discover that little big man was gone. woo hoo! then my happiness ended when he walked in a couple hours later. boo.

possibly

2005-06-30T15:07:00.000-05:00

i could be more bored, but that would require me to stop breathing. i'm relying on the activity of inhaling and exhaling to get me through the rest of the work day. maybe.

surely

2005-06-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

it's not the operator and this computer is fucked up. sometimes it just eats things and they can't be found. oh well, i guess since it's always just work stuff and never anything that i would cry about. i just had to come across a box of krispy kreme doughnut holes. krispy kreme being my favorite and doughnut holes being my favorite, so forget whatever diet i was going to try out. i've decided to be hulk hogan for halloween. why so much advanced planning? cause it's my favorite and i always come up with something now and then drag my feet until the day before. i grabbed a hulkamania shirt off of ebay today, so i'm off to a great start. now i just need to start working on that deep red tan and shirt ripping. maybe i'll lose count of how many shirts i have to rip off and i will expose myself at whatever party i end up at. hmmmm.....what a nice innocent plan.

deep

2005-06-28T14:36:00.000-05:00

in the southern woods of a red state is a little place called rich's last resort. the drive there was an adventure in itself. i assumed that it was going to be like our last place and i only had nine dollars on me when i searched the tiny store for an atm that did not exist. i was in the first group to arrive so we picked the "better" cabin, did our business in their cabin and then sat in the river playing cards while being approached by intoxicated rednecks. we got up bright and early and climbed into a van and then into our canoes. my ass is still sore from sitting on it and my hands can still feel the oars. it took two people hanging on me and a slippery rock to dunk me for the free for all baptism. we ran out of food and drink, two pairs of sunglasses were lost, one pair that wasn't ours was found, two other items were lost, the boys got some burns, two coolers were busted and no one tipped, well sort of, i swear i saw the boys in a "situation".

as

2005-06-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

confused as i was and as much as i wanted to argue, i really had to pee and just wanted to go into the house when the crazy neighbor lady told me to call 911 if i ever see any kids playing basketball in the alley. what? who cares and that is not a call to tie up 911 with. i'm sure she'll talk to me about it again, so i will be able to try to reason with her that it doesn't make sense. when she's in the yard i try to doodle in my car for a second waiting for a chance to get into the house without a ten minute conversation about her forty year old son who lives at home or the sale down at tony's. as for today, i also need to pee, but i am stuck in an introductory excel class. i'm suppose to be sitting in to evaluate the instructors so we can pick which training company to use. i took a powerpoint class monday and it was fun, but today is death.

after

2005-06-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

losing fifty dollars in a pool game i went out onto the sidewalk only to find out that the rig i had stolen had been stolen from me. i spotted a nice camper and car jacked it. i was just cruising around waiting for a green light and the girl took the controller away from me. outside of the xbox world, masterbatters won again, jamie broke her hip during the game, the aussie made a fabulous dinner and my dad did as instructed and used the father's day dollar that i sent to him for a cup of coffee.

goodie

2005-06-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

stirrup pants lady has her own personal folder. i like this one.

thanks

2005-06-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

to an intern (who by the way has finished more files on a daily basis than an engineer quoted to be able to do in a week - she did 72 in one day and he said he could maybe do 50 per week) taking up the cube that is home to the scanner.....coworker with brain had to dig around for another one. some lady said that she could do it for him while she was upstairs using one and she sent him a link to the file where it was. well, a little digging around and he came across some pics that she took of little big man when they were goofing around. so finally, i present to you, the visual.

like

2005-06-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

i'm the first person to ever step in dog shit. yes, it was the only pile in the park. yes, i was warned about it being in the area. yes, i did decide to put the bat bag right by it and stand around it while i got stuff out. yes, i didn't even know that i had stepped in it until it was pointed out to me. yes, i'm sure that i could have completely avoided it. what's your point? one time i got hit with bird shit on my shoe while walking, i was very thankful of where it landed and i figured with statistics that my bird worries were over. the day that i was hanging out at the taste and felt something hit me in the head and saw the explosive laughter coming from the girl.....i knew i was wrong with that theory.

in

2005-06-14T11:11:00.000-05:00

my super secret zipper pocket in my super secret wallet in my super secret purse i found a key to my miata while sitting at a stoplight in my super secret elantra. (big al just happens to have the same car as me except hers is younger and red and slower and the driver is horrible and it has sirius and not xm, so the radio sucks too) now i realize that i have two cars that i have promised to break out of the junkyard when i have the means to fix them up and run them. mohammad, my first car, a 1982 bright yellow hand me down two door hatchback citation was left in missouri. i've had friends tell me that they run into it when they are looking for parts and they pat it and give it some love. it's going to take some research to find hooper. while i'm at it, i might as well recover kennedy and melvin, but they are going to be really hard finds. melvin is splattered with stickers though, so that might help. i'll start postering the city. has anyone seen this car? (insert the only picture that i have of that car - shiny car with me laying on top of it wearing a white string bikini and soap suds being playfully misted with a hose from a fire truck while ten of the city's finest stand in uniform)

let

2005-06-13T16:07:00.000-05:00

me sum up my day by just posting an email.
some over paid engineer:
Mike, Andrea,
Shouldn't we correct the inspection date. It is 1-Apr-06 on the report.
Mark
(hmmmm...i think that is a question and should end with ? and the report doesn't have that date)
my reply:
I turned in a paper and ink data report to Gary. I do not have the original electronic spreadsheet. Gary filled out the electronic spreadsheet. If you need the original changed....please see Gary. If you just need a copy for you changed....you can just as easily do it as we can.
Andrea
(that must have been confusing)
over paid engineer reply to that:
Sure I can, but the date change should be done by the originator and distributed to the team.
so i had to start over:
Then as stated before, Gary is the originator and you should discuss this activity with him.
now i am going to exit the building and enjoy the reply to that in the morning.

do

2005-06-10T14:05:00.000-05:00

do, do, do, doo, do, do, do, do, doo, do, do, do, do, do, doooooo staaaaarrrrrrrt spreading the newssssssaa.....i'm bored off my asssssssaa....i don't have work to do and there's...two more hours leeeeeeffffffft......i'd love to fill...this plaaaace..with..dynomiiiiiiiitte...and seeee it..go..down...IN FLAAAAMMMMMEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!! do, do, do, do, do, do, yaaaaay!

cops

2005-06-09T14:34:00.000-05:00

were peeling out of here today. yay someone dialed 911 again and they are certainly (with every reason to be) getting pissed off. this morning was dreadfully boring so i took up a new work stance. i sat in my chair with my arms folded staring at my computer like i was reading a huge document when really my brain was shutdown and i was spaced out. i'm practicing to be a live statue performer in the park for extra cash. although my practice is lacking heckling bums fighting for my space, kids testing out their water balloon range and insane bible thumpers telling everyone that they are indeed going to hell because they are wearing a short skirt or have long hair. come on 4:30!!

warnings

2005-06-08T11:38:00.000-05:00

were dismissed and i completely forgot that this day was coming. this day being yesterday and the fact that grand theft auto san andreas came out on xbox. i will have to communicate with the girl during game loading pauses or bathroom breaks for the next few months. i said my sweet good bye to her while she was standing in front of me holding the game box and professing her love to it. (insert paragraph break here as requested) in keeping with the tradition that the musician started, here is a list of things that people have searched for via yahoo that displayed my andischmandi blog including the ranking that it popped up as: big rig games - 12, passed out pics - 28, gut punching pictures - 46, nobody called today she hung up - 11, no poop - 7, white girl hotties - 12 and spit at the coworker game - 1. i am a very proud lady.

multitasking

2005-06-07T15:06:00.000-05:00

tripped me up last night. i was heading out the door to go grocery shopping and i wanted to wash towels while i was out and i grabbed those and locked the door and out i went. (there is a locked door between our main living space and our laundry room - why? - because it also has the other apartments fuse boxes and water heaters that they need access to) as i closed the door i was thinking that i did not have my keys. i dug around and sure enough, no keys. i then called the girl who was still in the burbs and she headed home to save me. during my hour of hanging out in the laundry room, i washed the towels and dug through some bags that the girl found in her parent's garage when they were moving. i contemplated the morals of going through her stuff first, tried to call her to ask if it were ok and then made the decision to just go for it. i found a lot of old pictures and i was looking up some of the crew in her high school yearbook when she let me out of there. we have to dial 9 to call out here at work. i know some places are 8 and i don't think it will be 9 here too much longer. our new phones don't beep when you depress a button. i say figure that out and just dial or look at the screen if you need reassurance that you hit the button. we've had a couple people dialing 911 because they hit 9 and got a dial tone and then they hit 1 and don't here it beep so they hit 1 again. guess who is one of those people. no fingers man. he just did it a few minutes ago. he said "i was trying to dial a 919 number and i hung up before anyone answered." "oh, it registers the call that fast?" "oh, sorry." i don't think today was his first time or his last time. i'll try to keep a running tab on it.

win

2005-06-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

masterbatters win! we played a team that creamed us last time. apparently it's ok for the opposing coach to stand by me on the field and talk to me while i try to coach third base and it seems to also be ok for the opposing team to pull a base runner off of the base and tag her while she is still holding her arms. that ump certainly deserved to hear what i had to say about that. he also took off right after the game with my sign up sheet that is suppose to be turned in prior to the game. well, i don't know that for sure. either he took off with it or the opposing team took it. that's the paper that the winning team is suppose to write the score on. if the winning team doesn't do that, they forfeit the game. the opposing coach told me "don't worry about it. i'll write the scores on my paper and everything will be ok." oh sure. i guess they only told us about that forfeit thing two hundred times because they didn't have any other information for us and i should completely trust you after all of the bullshit your team pulled during the game. so i grabbed a blank one and forged everyone's signature. hahahahaha. that was a funny paper. it was just a bunch of scribbles. so it matched the original exactly.

reason

2005-05-31T14:26:00.000-05:00

number thirty five of why the the girl should learn how to drive stick: while unloading the bbq grill from my dad's truck, the lid fell off and hit me in the head and left me loopy. yay, i know, take the lid off next time. i was too tired to think of that. i was loopy enough to not even realize what happened. i was trying to figure out why the lid wasn't round and didn't fit anymore. enter head pain here. throw in a little nausea later, rest for a bit and off onto the road we go. the weekend prior to that included an interesting hike, a little bit of rain, a lot more rain, wiffle ball, football, kites, frisbees, lots of fish, tons of food, a good tent without poles, a bad tent with poles, plenty of fireworks and no drama. today includes a need for lots of sleep and a huge headache.

writing

2005-05-26T15:33:00.000-05:00

fucker in an email to no fingers man is not going to get me very far, so i deleted it after i typed it and admired how well it looked. i also felt a lot better after i yelled over the cube wall "if you want me to just pull an answer out of my ass, then i can give you the answer now. if you would listen to me, i have already stated that i need to call mexico first." yesterday i stayed home in the fetal position on the couch after my fun night of having to run to the bathroom at a restaurant because i was about to bring my meal up. i don't know what that was all about. now i'm left with thoughts of smores and seeing stars. fyi, i am extremely scared of snakes. extremely. please don't even tell me if you see one. i will panic and take off running and crying and then i will shake for thirty minutes while every breeze makes me think that there is one at my ankles. i was mowing once and i saw one. i jumped off the mower and ran inside the house, jumped in the rocking chair and rocked back and forth. my mom asked from the other room if i had seen a snake. before i could answer, the mower went past the window. another time the town bully came after me with one and i took off running, but i knew i couldn't outrun him so i decided that my best chance would be to have him drop it. i turned around with my fists in the air to fight a guy that towered over me. he stopped in his tracks and started apologizing.

sandwich

2005-05-24T13:25:00.000-05:00

purchasing was very hard today. i was meeting sis #4 to get an extra sleeping bag and when i pulled into the parking lot, little big man was pulling out of another one and stared at my car as i drove away. then as i was walking to sis #4's car i spotted stirrup pants lady in the place that we were going to eat at. then we waited, waited and waited in the parking lot for niece #2 and i just ended up grabbing something to go at another place and rushing back to work before little big man had a chance to start clocking me. now i'm having a panic attack trying to decide which spot to rub off on the game piece that was attached to my fries to win a million dollars. i think i will fill the rest of my work day by using the various equipment here to try and see the lettering underneath. update on the new phone system........one woman was complaining that they put the phone on the wrong side of her computer and that it is uncomfortable for her to use. she was requesting someone to come and move it for her. this is the same woman that is in the bathroom at various times of the day putting on makeup. coworker with brain informed me that he saw her early in the morning once and she needs to do that. another guy was complaining that they didn't cover how to get your voicemail. hmmm....could it be because it is exactly the same? everyone has speaker phones now and annoyingly......everyone is using them. call me, we'll do lunch.

due

2005-05-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

to the weekend schedule, i skipped out on the girl's softball games and bonded with the couch. i was really comfy and the door bell rang. i opened the door to a food delivery guy who wouldn't listen to me about the fact that it was probably the people above me that ordered. he finally went away and i sat back down and just as i got comfy again, someone banged on the window. ok delivery guy you're really pissing me off. i opened the door to some lady. she started talking about living next door and how the delivery guy told her that he just rang my door bell. great. another crazy for a neighbor. then she started asking me questions towards the functioning of the door bell. i told her that i had absolutely no idea. she finally got to the point that she just bought a wireless and she thought mine was the same because her's just rang and no one was there and she was trying to narrow it down. she then rang mine and the people at her house said that it rang at her's too. which explains the ding and ditch that we assumed happened last weekend.

awww

2005-05-20T14:40:00.000-05:00

yay! that's what i needed! little big man gave me a big rush, actual mind using project this morning. good stuff. now.......nothing. i overheard the big wigs (they always talk with the door open when i am the only one around - i guess that means they either trust me or know that there is only a small chance that i'm not sleeping and paying attention) and they were discussing moving more lines to mexico. they've run out of land to expand so they were asking how much room the building next door has. at least i'm not stuck with the choice of running out and telling people so they can prepare or keeping quiet so they don't find out i'm a leak this time because if anyone thinks that their job here is secure........they deserve to get laid off. we are getting a new phone system on monday. we actually had to sit through a ninety minute training class for the new phones. it's sad that even after that......some of the idiots around here are going to be completely lost next week. just dial you stupid fuck!

slightly

2005-05-19T14:07:00.000-05:00

green bananas are my favorite lately. i'm staring at one right now. mmmmmm. pause. that was damn good! i made it all the way to lunch before i purchased a mountain dew. tomorrow i shall do the same etc and before you know it....just water for me. i have a juice that's been in the office fridge for at least two months now. i wouldn't be surprised if it was three or four. i think i'll just leave it behind as a memorial to me when i finally get out of here. i've been waiting for a to do list all day. it's surely not going to live up to it's suspense. i want to go swimming. i think i'll go play in the bathroom sinks.

things

2005-05-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

don't have to happen in threes do they? if so, i got the first of three speeding tickets last night. grrrrr. at least i had a very long ticket break. i'm going to sign up for the driving school class....again and then the ticket won't go on my record. at least i'll be able to take the computer class and have something to do at work. plus, i'm only going the extra mile to support the state finances and give a bored cop something to do. that's a good positive spin to put on it. i'm really pissed off at myself though. yesterday no fingers man said "what's a metal connector?" (if you worked here you would know how stupid that question is) i replied with "a connector that is metal". then today he said "can i see those boards you had a few days ago?" i replied with "are you speaking about the boards that were sent to mexico on monday?" him "yes. can i see those?" me "ummmmm no." him "why not? where are they?" me "ummmmm mexico." him "was there an email sent out about that?" me "ummm you were the one that sent out the email about it." him "can you send it to me? i don't know what it's about." me "you need the email that you sent for the project that you came up with?" him "yes. i don't know what it's about."

what

2005-05-17T13:02:00.000-05:00

the fuck is what i was thinking too, but i'm not feeling as withdrawn now, so here we go. a couple of fridays ago i took the day off (i had absolutely no projects at work and it wasn't worth the drive) after watching a night of boxing and ran around town with the bass (who's seven or more month wait for a new guitar ended yesterday) and then stood around the metro like a stalker with the barfly until we got free tickets into the coldplay concert. was the girl with me? no. wasn't that the ticket that i was trying to get for her? yes. did i call her and wait outside with the ticket so she could go in? nope, i couldn't. it was either take the ticket and go in or don't get the ticket. and yes i did feel like a complete asshole, but i did smuggle my phone in (they were making everyone check them at this particular concert, but lucky me i had just bought one so i gave them the dead one) and called her to listen. the $300 a ticket crowd quite sucked as we assumed it would while we watched old men in suits with barely dressed women walk in the door with tickets. sure enough gwenyth was there too. the way she looked at him was beautiful. i took my shirt off, but i couldn't get her attention. her loss. saturday i procrastinated and procrastinated some more and wrote interview questions for a band in my car right before i was suppose to meet them. i think i work better that way. my brain is juiced and spinning around at that point. sunday was a super fun softball game. we busted out the keyboard and during the inning prior to the batteries going dead, the girl played and we scored five runs. sure the other team was kicking our ass, but you would have thought it was the other way around. i like that. hands up masterbatters!! then it was off to the girl's parent's house for a seven hour mother's day event that included a ninety minute phone call to my mom. between that and last friday there was lots of shopping, my car got covered by sludge from a trash truck on the highway and all of the screens at the theatre stopped so we had to sit through the trailers again after twenty minutes of nothing while listening to some lady call everyone she knows to ask them what happened. then friday night the girl and i saw a horrible stage band. their levels were crazy so you couldn't hear anything but bass and the singer was creepy with a mister rogers smile and band conductor movements. saturday we ate way too much lunch with nice shirt and ran off with the cowboy to a very cold soccer game.

the barfly

2005-05-17T04:41:00.000-05:00

pic
pool table at t's? i'm already there. b 52's anything? i'm already there. my twin when it comes to having a large sibling age gap. my sarcasm hero.

salted

2005-05-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

peanuts or cocktail peanuts are delicious. the mail your own package postage machine at the post office is fucking brilliant. the two story target with the cart escalators is a tour stop for my missourians. if the bulls win the championship this year, the coach will be fired. i sent my mom a dollar in a mother's day card. they don't sell live wire mountain dew here at work. i'm still giddy in love with the girl. i don't much care for chocolate. i think that sixteen candles is one of the best movies ever. i watched the matrix for the first time a few months ago. when i was ten, i sat down in the basement and ate so many oranges that just the smell of them made me sick for years. the other day i was late and just grabbed a can of fruit cocktail and the can opener for lunch. i played the saxophone in school because too many people were already playing the drums. no fingers man won't listen to me about anything dealing with electronics because i'm a girl. the wheel on the wheel of fortune is really heavy so they don't have to wait long for it to stop. do you post it, tape or paper weight? i have a scar on my leg because i jumped out of a tree wrong and landed on a barbed wire fence and didn't tell my parents to get stitches. orlando or miami?

curious

2005-05-04T13:50:00.000-05:00

sounds are coming from a bathroom stall in a frequent manner lately. today was the fourth day that i have been in there while someone is engaged in a fairly odd activity for a bathroom stall. i can't quite pin down the noise, but it seems as if they are shuffling through papers or bending cardboard, but it's not exactly either of those and it goes on for at least ten minutes (i'm a bit of a germaphobe - scrub those hands! and i was trying to figure out the sound). anyway, i am way curious now. the thing that bugs me the most is that i will probably never know. that might be the good thing.

hot

2005-05-03T13:38:00.000-05:00

glue gun plus me equals a yelp and a huge tender blister. yesterday i had to glue odd shaped things onto a flat piece of plexiglass. i decided that it would be best to just put a ton of glue on it and set it on the board instead of cutting the pieces flat. mix that with my attention span and seconds later globs of hot glue were pouring all over my fingers. it had also been five minutes since my last shot of caffeine so i wasn't able to react quick enough to wipe it off. instead, i just looked at it wondering what had happened and why my finger was in pain. then "hot stuff" clicked in my brain and i went straight for the pants wipe. then i finished up by putting the pieces at a slight angle with my fingers away. i completely forgot about it, turned to my keyboard and went at it. type, type, ouch, type, ouch, ouch, ouch, type. i ran it under cold water and then tried typing with my finger in the air. it worked most of the time.

i

2005-05-02T13:28:00.000-05:00

just wasn't fast enough. i saw coldplay tickets listed for $35, i clicked and they were gone. i've been sick to my stomach for about thirty minutes now about it. i want to get these tickets for the girl, but fuck! it's been nothing but trouble since they were suppose to go on sale. here's a little background, one of my favorite bands moved their concert to a bigger space that they might not even fill, so i was able to get tickets easily last weekend. now one of her favorite bands is playing a special show at a really small place and the scalpers have all the tickets and have listed them for an average of $400. so you can see where fist are up out of disappointment. then i was teased with the $35 tickets and i'm now emotionally exhausted. i spent the first softball game of the season chasing a dog, being tangled up by said dog and trying to convince a kid that it's not nice to throw dirt as she threw dirt at me. i did get to see my mom this weekend and when i giggled from her "alright" response to my good bye "i love you" she yelled "if i didn't love you, i wouldn't put up with your crap." that works for me. i also purchased new pants that drew attention to my ass. a girl can't ask for much more than that.

buttons

2005-04-29T13:03:00.000-05:00

are usually pretty stable on my pants, but i guess i have worn this pair way too much. plus, factor in trying to change clothes around the octopus and you've got a button bouncing around on the bathroom floor. i'd be concerned that this happened at work, (the button falling off part - not the changing clothes/octopus part - although my career could change during my job hunt) but this pair is zip up with two buttons at the top, so i am good. i'm sure that i'll even continue to wear them. little big man was just going on and on to a customer about how hard it is to get answers from japanese companies and that they don't work with demands and if you push them too hard they will just stop giving you answers. he continued to talk about this subject to get her to loosen up on us. then she responded with: i have a few things for you. number one. i am japanese. number two. blah, blah, blah. i dunno, i was too busy watching him squirm. number three. i completely agree with you. no! no, no, no!! yell at him. damn. the time between number one and number three was pure classic though.

dead

2005-04-27T16:04:00.000-05:00

she is not. thanks to the musician for the big duh on googling debbie kirk. i put in her name and bam! websites, websites, websites. how can you not love the internet? she's a writer, poetry mainly i guess, and has her own site including some pics. i got out an old pic of her last night to make sure since it's been so long and i believe we have a match. now to email her and not sound completely stupid....................... "umm, are you mountain home bomber debbie kirk? this is andrea #2. it's good to know that you are not dead. do you even remember who #2 is? or is that why you called me #2 in the first place? it's nice to find you. i've never had green hair. i like dolphins."

anyone

2005-04-26T15:13:00.000-05:00

out there know a girl named debbie kirk? she should be around the age of thirty. she finished out high school in mountain home arkansas. i went there for two months. i met her in gym. she walked up to me and sang a king missile song (not detachable penis), introduced herself and we were solid until i took off to go finish my days in missouri. i was completely different when i came back and that was all because of her. i'm forever thankful that i did change too. it's been one hell of a ride since. i found the music. i found the beautiful dark. the pixies feel upon my ears thanks to her. we didn't keep in touch. i don't know why. i think she moved after she graduated and i didn't have the resources to keep up with her. if you come across her, tell her that andrea #2 says hello and that she still thinks about her and misses her. oh, and that i'm sorry i wasn't able to steal a yearbook for her to replace the one that fell in the lake.

copy

2005-04-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

machine, i'll get you! i just spent about twenty minutes with one. it was giving me copies and we were on a roll. it was singing, i was dancing, everything was great in my world. copies, staple, next job, staple....then my stapler jammed. no problem. there's another one in the room so i can stay in my swing. copy, staple, copy, jam, fix jam, find other jam, fix it, oooh there's a jam in area five too you say copier, ok fixed, copy, nope jam, jam, jam, areas two, three, four and five. ok fixed. copy, nooooooo! jam, jam, jam, jam, jam, jam. the jam got jammed and then jammed while i was unjamming it. jam, jam, jam, jam. the display screen was going crazy with orders. open left door. remove jam in area 1. open front top door. remove jam in area two, three and four. blah, blah. jam, jam. so i deleted every copy job in the copier's memory, took out every inch of paper i could find, grabbed all evidence of me being in that room and looked for another copier. oooh i'll get you copier. you just wait until next time that you want me to load tray number two. i don't think so. you're just going to have to sit there empty. empty!

twike,

2005-04-22T12:54:00.000-05:00

twike, twike, twike! i want one, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. i've been drooling over smart cars ever since i saw one, but that's not going to happen either. they are done producing them. canada got their hands on a few, but we aren't getting any because they don't think they can sell any with everyone being suv my car can take up way more space than your car crazy. so they aren't going to go through all of the hassles getting them up to us standards. then i saw a twike. ahhhhh.......it's a little longer, but still tiny and healthy for the earth. (happy earth day by the way) this most likely isn't going to happen either though. it's a kit. it looks easy enough, but i haven't even had time to figure out the bass's recording equipment yet. it's still super expensive to get here. they aren't up to the us dot standards so i would have to do a lot of paperwork and extra stuff. it's pretty funny that it's not up to standard though because the standards for german and swiss vehicles are much tighter that here. hence all of the environmentally friendly vehicles available there. the problem is simply because they are different. the us wants things labeled differently. really? a labeling system is what's stopping lots of people from being able to afford environmentally friendly vehicles? yep. i find it funny that it would only take me ten minutes to buy a huge gas using vehicle and up to a year to get a small electric car. is anyone else out there drawing any conclusions? anyway, there is also the corbin sparrow, which is only a one seater (the girl will have to have her own) that is working on the us market, but it is still too expensive for me to make the jump into that world.

livers

2005-04-21T14:53:00.000-05:00

must be plentiful because i comfirmed today that drunk dude here at work is back to pounding the liquor and it's only been a few months since his transplant. i assume he thinks that it's fresh and he can start all over again, but does that piss anyone else off? i'm certainly pissed about it. i seem to remember hearing stories about people on waiting lists. it's nice to know that this guy got one in a hurry and is now, what i consider, abusing it. i think he needs to see a counselor instead of spending time with captain morgan during lunch.

with

2005-04-20T13:03:00.000-05:00

every swallow i take today, i can hear my mom telling me to slow down while i eat or i'll get a cramp and the girl also advising me too take it easy and pace myself. well, where were they last night when i started shoving pizza straight from the oven into my mouth? i guess i just swallowed one bite because my mouth is ok, but i burnt my throat with a glob of oven hot cheese and it is really sore and isn't getting any better. i'm going with plan c in a few minutes which consists of ice cream. mmmmm. plan c. i don't know why i can't wait for food to cool off and i also don't know why i feel the need to constantly speed eat. maybe because i'm the youngest of six? or because we only had a few minutes to eat lunch at school? or possibly because i am always eating on the run? mix them all up and you've got one unbalanced diet with mouth and throat burns making a regular appearance. i do have the pleasure of knowing that there are some others that are in much more pain than i am today because i saw some boxers get punched a few too many times last night. during one fight, the guy was bleeding all over the place and someone in the crowd kept yelling "stop the fight!". everyone entered with a regular nose and came out with a gigantic one. my favorite was the guy wearing a t shirt with a picture of himself on it. good times.

purchased

2005-04-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

products gone wrong is not a hat trick that i desire. last night i went to buy one tire to replace the tire that has a four inch long hole in it and showing the wire. well, the girl thought that we should check it out before we left and sure enough.....they changed the wrong tire. great. the girl beat me to the counter and explained to them what happened. the guy said that i told him the left tire when actually i said passenger front. i didn't even use the word left and there was so much noise in there when we were setting up the order, i had to write down my phone number because i was tired of yelling it to him. anyway, the other guy took off the tire that i wanted off, held that tire beside another one and waved me over. he said "can you tell me which tire i just took off and then can you tell me why it needed to be changed instead of the one that i did change?" i pointed to the correct tire and then informed him of the gapping hole soon to be death trap on the tire that he didn't feel like changing even though someone made a mistake and i didn't get what i purchased. he finally looked at it and then said "oh. ok. i'll change it then."

short

2005-04-18T13:31:00.000-05:00

recap of my weekend. i worked over two hours overtime on friday even though i did absolutely nothing all week. feel asleep and then by the time the girl and i got to the club, it was about an hour, most likely more, of a wait to get in. piled into the full size guestroom bed with the girl and the specialist and made them watch lizzie mcguire. watched everyone eat ice cream because i didn't want to be full for a big meal that i was going to. broke into the girl's parent's house. was attacked by seven freedom recently found birds. spent a good twenty minutes looking for a dictionary in the book store. watched the mariners win while eating a brat and a hotdog. buried my nose in my armpit while in line to get on the subway. had to plea that i ordered chicken while the waiter kept saying no and that i ordered shrimp while shoving the plate towards me until nice shirt came to the rescue and told him that i was allergic. watched the water guy miss my glass, continue to pour and then walk away from the table. got blamed for all of the napkins being wet and again was saved by nice shirt who witnessed the water guy. kept thinking that it was saturday when it was indeed sunday.

snoozing

2005-04-15T14:47:00.000-05:00

on the wrong alarm does not work. i guess i turned mine off while sleeping and when i went to hit snooze this morning, i realized that it was the girl's alarm that is about an hour after mine. whoops. heh. i should have just called in. today i am suppose to approve or reject some prototype parts, but we don't have any customer standards. so i have no idea what is good or bad and i was told to make up my own standards. i was also told by the same person that all of the parts need to be good. why even have me look at them then? just ship them and leave me out of it. someone really messed up and the shipment is a month late and we don't have the quantity they asked for, so i want nothing to do with it. i'm not signing anything and hell no i'm not coming in on a saturday to do so. i had jello with fruit molded in it today. it's been a long time. i'm not in a hurry to get more.

noticing

2005-04-14T12:34:00.000-05:00

a pattern of me taking one day off every other week? when my alarm goes off and my eyes sting a bit when i open them to see what time it is, my brain is quickly convinced of the logic that is presented for me to call in. as i go over it now, i still think that the logic holds firm. i have three weeks of vacation. the girl only has one. i am looking for a job and will most likely take the first one offered. although i will get paid for any leftover vacation when i leave this job, the taxes that get taken out are horrifying. i really don't like it when the girl leaves for work and i am being a bum, but i don't like being here anymore either and until i find something new....taking a day off here and there and sleeping until noon is a good temporary fix. tuesday night i saw a movie with the girl, the specialist and the aussie. some girl sitting right behind us got a phone call and of course answered it and started yapping away. it was also some brilliant conversation that went something like this "he got sentenced to 6 months today" "no, no only 6 months" "yay he got by with the rest" "i told him to only call the house phone" "yay the house phone. i can't always be talking on my cell" "huh?" "no i'm at a movie" "that's alright. what are you doing?" blah, blah, blah.

at

2005-04-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

the time, i indeed did think that it was a good idea to open my soda with one hand while holding it between my legs so that i could continue to eat my breakfast sandwich with my other hand. i also thought that i had completely wiped up all of the soda that spilt all over my chair. as soon as i stood up i felt it all over the back of my pants. i happen to have on those pants that claim that liquids don't set in. well, they don't after x amount of uses. these pants just give me extra time to get it off lately. there was nothing else for me to do, but walk through the cafeteria feeling around trying to assess the damage. it was about the level of i got scared and let a little go and not a full out non bladder control situation. so i marched proudly as if unaware through the cafeteria and production area until i reached the bathroom. i was lucky enough to be stuck in there with the woman who puts on all of her make up after she gets to work. she spends about fifteen minutes or more in there daily. either she's smart enough to sit back and do it on company time or she has some weird at home situation. either way, i don't think that she needs to be staring at me while i use the hand dryer on my butt. now it's time to use blogger for getting the word out. if you have an ebay watchlist....add this auction to it. if they get a certain amount of watchers...ebay will put them on their homepage which will give them the visibility that they need. then i can finally watch a damn movie there.

faintly

2005-04-11T11:16:00.000-05:00

i remember this weekend thinking in my head "i should blog about this", but i have no idea what that was. i know that i ate too much, but i am still hungry. i know that i slept too much, but i am still tired. i know that i finished everything, but i feel like i forgot something. i guess i will figure that one out when "oops, i'm sorry, i forgot about that" comes out of my mouth. it's pointless to be at work today. we're all just sitting here trying to stay awake until lunch comes and then we will try to stay awake to go home. i have a pop tart to munch on later that spent the weekend in my car, so i consider it toasted. although, i don't mind them untoasted at all. i know, ewwww, but the dough isn't raw, you're only making it brown and heating it up, not cooking it. so back off untoasted haters!

make

2005-04-08T13:45:00.000-05:00

a hand gesture to pull over and then drive away as quickly as possible when the others get out of their car. that was the plan on some random lady's mind last night when she rear ended me at a stoplight. i was so pissed off when she flew past me. me and the girl were so confused that we didn't get a chance to get her license plate number. i ran to the back of my car to see the damage and it was just some scratches, so no big deal, but if it would have been more, i would have tried to catch up with her at the next light to at least call in her plates with a hit and run. that stuff just makes me mad. why even gesture to me to pull over if you aren't going to stop yourself. do you really need that much of a head start? that only led to me and the girl arguing over what to do in that situation if the car gets banged up. i say to at least try to catch up and get the plates since that person is most likely sitting at the next red light. she says to just leave it be and have your own insurance pay for it so you don't end up in a bigger accident. i don't think we'll come to an agreement on that one. ok. move on. then we went past a mcdonald's. two customers with to go bags were running across the parking lot and two employees were running around in circles. one employee had a broom in his hands and broke it when he slammed it on the pavement. i then looked at the area he struck and surely enough there was a huge rat running around. he totally missed and the rat was still zooming around them. haha wait till i tell touchdown #1 about this. maybe she'll consider eating at quizno's again.

breakfast

2005-04-07T15:26:00.000-05:00

is nothing to mess with. coworker with brain and i have become extremely addicted to the sausage and egg with cheese on grilled toast here at work. the only thing is that only one cook can make it without messing it up and ruining our day. we tried out a new lady once and it was a disaster, so we always opt for the biscuits and gravy when our favorite chef hasn't made it to work. well, this morning there was a new face behind the grill and.........they were out of biscuits! we both just stood there not knowing what to do. i started panicking because i missed out on monday because i helped sis #4 in the morning, i skipped work tuesday and i was late yesterday so i needed that sandwich. coworker with brain then suggested that we go to mcdonald's for a mcgriddle. i did not argue with that. mmmmm.......that sandwich hit the spot.

coworker with brain

2005-04-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

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one of the few in my department with common sense. we take turns listening in on conversations during the day and then compile them to get a good laugh. he likes to say things like "the bulb isn't working because all the fluid leaked out" so we can hear the idiots repeat it to others later.

headache,

2005-04-06T13:50:00.000-05:00

headache, headache, headache. i stayed home yesterday because i simply didn't want to get out of bed and now today i am here at work with a huge headache. i've been squinting all morning due to the florescent lights and i've been grabbing at my ears whenever my phone rings. i chose the wrong sick day, but who knew? the aussie should be landing in chicago sometime today! it surely doesn't feel like a month has passed. not that i want her to be gone any longer, but it just seemed short. now i'm off to stare at something darker than i can get my screen to be.

team

2005-04-04T14:16:00.000-05:00

masterbatters has been paid for and is official. even everyone on the team has paid and no one has to worry about it come game time. now i just have to pick up the phone and order some shirts. can i get around to that today? certainly. i just need to get rid of my ate too much at lunch sleepy voice and lack of concentration prior to doing so. i got up quite early this morning and went to help sis #4 get her final belongings out of the house before they did the closing at nine. the move went rather smoothly. i was expecting it to be way worse, but there was a lot of help and that made a huge difference. while some wrestled with piling furniture into the truck, the rest of us threw lingering objects into boxes and bags. my tag line for the day was "just put it in a box and tape it up before she notices." things i will miss about that house: waking up to the 2 year old and 3 year old neighbor kids standing over my bed waiting for me to come play on a saturday morning and replying with nobody when i ask who let them in the house, getting to hear bad 80's music coming from someone's yard while they garden and then hear them argue loud enough to hear it over the music, going from the upstairs bathroom to my room upstairs without a towel only to remember midway that the stair windows have no curtains, staring at a pool that we couldn't use, the ice cream truck speeding around trying to figure out how to get back to the main street and then being cornered with kids on bikes when a turn on dead end road was taken, my mom pulling into the driveway with suitcases in the trunk and saying "i was on a drive and realized i was heading in this direction so i thought i would just come up for the weekend".

someone

2005-04-01T10:26:00.000-06:00

is a bit short tempered today. not to name any names or anything, but.......it's me. i'm moving into the tired stage of cranky for no reason. i should have gone to bed at eight last night, but after helping sis#4 (i was packing boxes and labeling them with the origin of the contents. one wasn't quite full so i brought it downstairs to only later find her going through it organizing and such. hello!!? you have to be out by saturday morning. you are past the point of getting to do that. go through the box when you unpack it.) i then ended up on a crowded couch watching the movie "taking lives", which i got really into and enjoyed. knowing that angelina jolie was in it was the part that made me watch the beginning until i got a glimpse of her and by then i was hooked. now a few hours later i am sitting here trying to enter numbers into a spreadsheet so we can verify that the laser is set correctly prior to shipping it to mexico and then having to reset it anyway because of the move. who votes to just set it up once when it arrives to the location where it is going to be used? well, that's one yes vote from me and several confused faces. i'll take that as a majority no. what do i want to do tonight? go directly home and go directly to sleep until the morning when i will get up and go lug boxes into a moving truck and then go directly to sleep and play three basketball games back to back and win the championship giving nice shirt a hat trick on consecutive championships (softball, football and a possible basketball). what will most likely happen? i'll go help pack some more, go out for the evening, wake up even more tired, be in a bad mood during the whole move, go out to relax from that, get up late and rush to basketball and be worthless to the team. that is if i don't forget about the time change.

maybe

2005-03-31T11:27:00.000-06:00

i just didn't get the memo, but i am pretty sure that it is not bring your child to work day and i'm also pretty sure that a three year old won't get anything out of job shadowing, so the question on my mind and hopefully others in the office area is, why did stirrup pants lady bring her kid in and why is she just hanging out in her cube with little normal three year old outbursts followed by shhhh, be quiet and shut up? people bring in kids sometimes on their way through during vacations to show them off and such, but no one ever reports to work with kid in hand and go at it for four hours like nothing is odd about it. i'd love to get the scoop on it, but i don't want to sacrifice any allies by sending them for a long conversation that will lead to them running away screaming because their mind can't compute the logic that she just used. so, i am just going to go with the fact that it won't make any sense even if i knew. tonight i am to report to my sis #4's house for under the stairs clean out duty. it should be just a bunch of old seasonal decorations, but i can not make the promise that i won't be bringing anything home. there's halloween stuff in there. i'm not that strong.

possibly

2005-03-30T13:00:00.000-06:00

for good, the specialist is home. her and others arrived last night via flashing lights escort. she said that people were annoyed and then were all happy wavey when they realized what was going on. she received a package from the government containing one box of shortbread girl scout cookies, one small bag of 7 11 coffee and two packs of the christmas edition of bubble tape. she ran around the house a bit and then passed out on the couch. rocky was being mister protective dog and was barking at anyone who came near her. she must have had bacon in her pocket.

phone

2005-03-29T15:25:00.000-06:00

interview....done. it's been way too long. i got a bit nervous right before it, but i was able to unleash my lifelong trained bs skills. now i have to wait to see if i made it past that woman to see if i get to come in and go through the whole process again with another woman. my boss at this particular job will be a woman if i am the chosen one. that will be a nice change. although i guess i can see where it could be worse. i'll be glad just to have a reason to take a day off. i was tired and it was dark after i ate last night when i got home. the whole drive i was thinking about jumping on my new bike and taking off. i ended up just going down the block when the girl got home and then she took it for a spin. i'm still trying to sleep off the weekend. that's not going to happen anytime soon. i'm not to passout during work stage yet, but it's getting close. blogger has been stupid and slow lately and it is becoming a pain to post.

after

2005-03-28T16:18:00.000-06:00

a sleepless ride home with sis #4, i opened the door to view a brand new beautiful birthday bicycle from the girl. it also included a really cool helmet. it is so fun to ride it up and down the hallway. it was so nice just to finally be home with her, but to be presented with a gift as soon as i open the door...................... the rest of my weekend consisted of smelling cat pee for the entire drive because the cats decided to protest and not pee in the litter, seeing women scratch records in a bar basement prior to the performance of the woman rap artist with "the number one mix tape in st. louis", shopping with the fam at a new mall that has a skate park inside, having conversations with people that i don't know but know my name that get mad when my friends come up to say something to me or when i try to get away at some hick bar, being the only car on the road and having the town cop follow me for six miles until i hit the county line and watching niece #6 stand up on her chair, turn around, pull her pants down and just stand there mooning my whole family during easter lunch.

niece #6

2005-03-28T14:18:00.000-06:00

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she has an obsession with christmas that has led to my mom leaving some of the decorations up all year long so that she doesn't have to drag them out with every visit. i say leave out some tinsel and pack up the singing dancing santa. she can beat me at putting together puzzles.

some

2005-03-24T11:36:00.000-06:00

more light for the mirror in the guest room is what the girl is looking for, but she gave me a very odd look when i drug in a lamp last night. i know she thinks that i have too much stuff, but i keep it under control. photography equipment is the bulk of it. i should get rid of some of it, but when i set up and get going again.....who knows what i will need. anyway, i just thought the look on her face was funny and i was trying to imagine what she was thinking. my hip is feeling a bit weird today. i am going to blame it on lugging boxes down stairs for sis #4. which makes me a huge baby because she has been lugging boxes off and on for well over a week now. this is such a boring post, much like my day. my ride home for easter will consist of me, sis #4 and two undrugged cats. the cats are getting shipped to the farm during sis#4's five month stay at a friend's house. they'll be in the car for an hour before i get in, so maybe they will be calm. i imagine that they will get more frazzled as the six hour trip drags on. which will make every living thing in the car a bit frazzled. i wonder if they have leashes? i want to take them for walks at rest stops. maybe we can make a few petco stops and laps around the store on the way. if only cracker barrel allowed pets inside. then we would have plenty of stopping opportunities. i want to eat lunch now, but i am too tired to chew. i think i'll just let some easter duck, chick and bunny sweettarts dissolve in my mouth for today's nutrition.

countdown

2005-03-23T13:09:00.000-06:00

is at 2. i got my wrinkly five dollar bill and reusable birthday card from my place of employment at the beginning of the month. i'm waiting on a postcard from the aussie. maybe i will get that in time for my birthday. the girl is getting me a bicycle. as long as it is green......i'll be happy. the musician told us the other night that we are horrible surprise gift givers. heh. it seems to fit us. some lady from the production area gave me a coffee maker to take home and fix for her. she said that she has three others, but that this is her favorite. i don't think i'll be able to fix it, but it will be fun to play around with. i believe that i get a homemade taco lunch from her if i am a success. i will get the eyes of shame if i am not. while i am helping my sister lug her couch into the garage so that goodwill can take it off her hands in the morning, i think i will get four new tires tonight just like i have been saying for the last two weeks. shouldn't free maintenance come with my monthly payment?

survey

2005-03-22T11:18:00.000-06:00

says...that those of the softball team that replied are cool with the name "masterbatters". now i just have to land starbucks as a sponsor (i am suppose to call latasha tomorrow morning) buy some 70's socks, bad sun glasses, a whistle and the stage will be set for my coaching duties. the girl was a bit stressed last year and i have a bit more time at work to organize stuff, so we decided to switch back and forth each season. now to defend myself on the question that i answered "wrong". i was asked to pick a situation: a) you cheated and no one will ever know b) you didn't cheat but everyone thinks that you did. i only got to say: "well, a isn't valid because i tell you everything." i think the girl and the musician thought i picked a, but rather i was disputing it and i was going to dispute b and then not choose either, but it was way too late for that because they both turned around while moaning in disgust. we were at a show and it was between bands so it was a bit noisy and i can see where they got that, but that was not my answer. as for the question that i answered yes to.....i reversed it and asked the girl the same and she won't answer. she said that i have to come up with my own questions. hey! i don't like this game. do people really buy peeps to eat them or as a gag gift or because they are cheap for the kids? the massive quantity of them could dam a river. mmmmm......sweet river water.

yes

2005-03-21T16:15:00.000-06:00

is absolutely my answer. i don't think i communicated that clearly to the girl last night when she asked me one of her odd questions. i always squirm for a bit prior to spitting out an answer that is basically a request for more detail on the question, but last night was a simple yes. the musician was present for a question once and i answered differently than both of them, but i never had the chance to explain why i answered "wrong". i don't know if i am still in the doghouse for that one. i was finally able to view the classic "deep throat" on the big scene. it was at an artsy theatre so there was no need to have everyone sit with their hands in the air the whole time. that also means that it didn't have stadium seating and i was a little embarassed moving my head around letting the people behind me know what i was trying to see on the screen.

resume

2005-03-18T14:01:00.000-06:00

is done. done, done, done, done. i just saw a lady from the production floor in the bathroom. she was telling me how stupid the people are here (two plants combined into one - we all moved, but most of us were shown the door first) she also made the comment that i am wasting my brain here. hahaha i haven't talked to her for weeks and she has that to say to me. she's always had great timing. will it work if i use that in an interview as the reason for leaving my current job? heh. tonight i shall celebrate by meeting the girl's coworker's lesbian sister. i think he is expecting to catch us doing some sort of secret handshake or something. currently i am going to place my resume in an email and send it to "world".

for

2005-03-17T15:14:00.000-06:00

me to give respect at the office, i demand that you are able to do at least one of the following things:
- spell, you can at least use spell check
- speak, "they don't have nothing" ANYTHING! YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT! ANYTHING!
- make a complete sentence
- have common sense
- make some decisions on your own
- change a tiff to a jpg
- use a computer for five minutes without asking for help
- not eat smelly food at your desk and put the leftovers in your open air trash
- not call a meeting for every single issue
- don't call me angela; especially when you called me andrea five minutes ago
- don't tell me to take notes for you or go make copies
- don't tell me that you need something immediately and then never use it
- don't repeat yourself or keep looping one thing to make conversation

bubble

2005-03-16T10:48:00.000-06:00

lights flashing behind me is nothing new. i have what is called a led foot. i was born with it. in missouri i made a bit of a reputation for myself with those long stretches of empty roads and lots of places for cops to hide. (is "cops" bad? when i wrote it something flashed in my mind that they don't find that respectable.....hmmm i dunno) i was even pulled over once for doing the speed limit. the officer said to me back then "do you know why i pulled you over?" i said "actually no. i set my cruise control on the speed limit. maybe something is wrong with my odometer." he said "you were doing exactly the speed limit and that's why i pulled you over. that's suspicious behavior." i said "if i was going over the speed limit you would have pulled me over and if i was going under the speed limit you would have pulled me over and now you're pulling me over for doing the speed limit?" in my mind i was thinking that this guy needed to pick up some hobby to do while he sits on the lonely roads waiting for some action. my friends thought it might have something to do with him being young and us being three chicks in a convertible on a friday night. i think it might have something more to do with me wearing an army helmet and them wear swim caps and goggles. another time i was wearing a purple feather boa and it was flapping in the wind. i got pulled over for that too. i found that event interesting because i didn't have my seat belt on and neither did gerkenbower. i got a ticket for not having mine on, but she didn't because when he asked her why she told him that it was stuck in the door. what! that's the worst excuse ever! aren't you suppose to figure all that out before the car starts to move? she still won't confess that she winked at him, but i know that she did something. anyway, i'm well into double digits with speeding tickets. i've only had three since i've lived in illinois which is around six years. i find that completely amazing. i've been so good. well, my definition of good is lucky. so this morning a cop followed me for a mile or so and finally pulled me over and told me that i was speeding five minutes ago. he came back with just a warning for me because my record was pretty clean. all of that hard work and fine paying and no recognition? my heart is broken.

gerkenbower

2005-03-16T10:13:00.000-06:00

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she picked us for highschool instead of that river rat town school. we would spent hours in the car singing duets until other people got in. then there would be silence. we always pick up where we left off no matter how much time it has been. don't play cards with us.

walgreen's

2005-03-15T13:34:00.000-06:00

called to me as i drove past it last night, so i pulled in to look for a photo frame. they have exactly what i have been looking to buy for the past few weeks, but they didn't have the right size. so instead i walked out with a high tech toilet plunger. i'm a sucker for upgrades of things that i already have and don't ever use. i was explaining to the girl about my excitement of it and she did her duty of pretending to be as excited and picked it up and started examining it (right after she asked if i had used it yet). then she hollered down the hallway "did you get this at a religious store?" inscribed on the side of the handle is "Get a handle on life. John 3:16" great. i don't even know if that is a real verse or not or whatever, but me no likey. it seems that i may have gone out of my way to help some church build a bigger church or put more lobbyist into action. can i still have a green beer with everyone on thursday without any dirty looks? i've been trying to "eat right", but the yogurt is just taunting me. today when i opened the lid, yogurt splashed all over me. take that stain guard pants!

asking

2005-03-11T12:26:00.000-06:00

in advance does not work. my birthday falls on good friday this year. it's cool because i get a three day weekend, it's bad because it's easter weekend and i live five hours from home. i brought this up to my family two months ago. i needed to know how to plan my birthday celebrations and hanging out with the family. everyone was going to come up here so i could party at night and visit during the day. i was planning a duo birthday party with the musician and everything. well, i've got mail and it says that sis #4 (who would have been the hostess here) has decided that she wants to go there. hello? why do you think i asked before? now everything is messed up and i don't know what to do. i want to spend my birthday with the girl, i want to see my parents. the girl offered to go home with me, but she has to work on friday and i know that she wants to be with her family. the girl also has taken the time to plan something on friday night and i don't want to ditch on that. three day weekends home don't come up too often. i can always take a friday off and do that, but then not everyone is there. i can't make a decision and i am tinkering with all the plans so that i don't have to make one until the day actually comes. so now everyone is just on hold and that sucks for them too.

finally

2005-03-10T13:17:00.000-06:00

i can close the chapter of the princess bitch. i think. for the last two days, my free time has been spent going back and forth on emails arguing with an old friend. i would send facts about an event and she would send back jabs at my character. i finally sent back defense of my character with a message stating that she shouldn't contact me again. i give her one month. remember how i dropped my phone and it's been acting funny, well the other day the antenna fell off. this was during a grocery shopping trip. some kid threw his jacket on our cart thinking that it was his mom's. well, i moved the jacket and later i smelled something bad times twenty on my hands. it was disgusting. i washed them about ten times all the while blaming the kid. then we went to put away the groceries and there was the smell again. the girl found out that one of my chicken cordon blue packages had been open for quite some time and there was some mold all over it. damn it! even though i know there is nothing wrong with the rest of them......i'm not feeling so good about eating them. then the next day at work i broke my pager. i'm not so sad about that, but i am on some sort of roll. little big man is trying to change after he read all of his bad reviews from us. it's pretty funny because you can tell that he wants to get really mad and that he takes some sort of time out and calms down and we haven't experienced any backlash yet. i do still have a complaint though. he's being super nice and telling the village idiot no fingers man that he is doing a really good job on stuff. he just told him that he is picking up power point really well. that's great. he's had someone's secretary over there helping him the whole time. at least this is funny.

cell

2005-03-07T11:09:00.000-06:00

phone shopping is taking up my day. i welcome it though. a little over a week ago i dropped my phone on concrete for the eleventh time and i think it's done with my abuse. although people claim to be able to hear me just fine.....i can't always hear them. it's like my phone goes off and then comes back on in spurts. i don't hear anything. i can tell when people answer the phone, but i miss out on the delight of hearing their greeting. my conversations go as follows "i know that you can hear me, but i can't hear you. i am driving around the corner so come downstairs. it's ok if you need a few minutes and if this is your voice mail.....later it is then." "i can't hear you, but happy birthday!! ok. i guess i'll chat with you later." "how was your vacation? (long silence then take a guess) that's neat. (repeat) really? that's fun!" hopefully my mom wasn't telling me that my dad continued to be sick and spent the whole time in the hotel room with diarrhea. i wasn't crazy over getting a souvenir anyway.

as

2005-03-04T09:36:00.000-06:00

i look around the office, i see all sorts of things on top of people's cabinets. trays of old parts, half dead plants, lego figurines, stuffed animals, stacks of paper and bags. yesterday i set a fed ex box on top of my cabinet to get it out of the way until i threw it out. this morning little big man asked me to take it down. in my head i was thinking, good thing i didn't throw this out yet because he needs it for something. then this came out of his mouth "the cabinet tops are suppose to be clear. nothing is to go on top of them." i was a bit stunned, but i was able to wave my hand pointing in all directions while saying "but everyone has stuff up there." his response "well their stuff is ok." my definition of nothing must be wrong. so let's not even bother discussing that part and let's move into the area of what he finds to be ok. there's nothing solid there either, so let's just pretend that he meant that decorative things are ok. well, who gets to define that? i don't think you can because everyone's tastes are different. i don't like all of his anything that says green bay packer on it collection, but i respect the fact that he does. what if that fed ex box was special to me in some way? he wouldn't know that. i know that he singles me out all of the time. i'm quite use to that from my low population, that music isn't on the radio so it must be weird and bad, the library doesn't have any of those books, no cable, if you don't go to the baptist church off of highway w you must be lucifer himself, your clothes are not what they had at jc penney, art is crafts, the rest of the world is just like this, there are no other cultures, no other languages, no other religions, the city is full of criminals, he's (place several names here) kid he would never do anything wrong, he's (place one name here) kid of course he did it, fourth generation pike county white bread upbringing. so, it's time to act like i use to and push people until i get in over my head trying to prove a point and hopefully teach a lesson that they will take in and keep. now, what will i be placing on my cabinet? a posable jesus toy? nah, but a posable noah toy might be a nice addition.

luckily

2005-03-03T09:50:00.000-06:00

i caught the tail end of a report this morning on the radio that was talking about police being along the highway every five miles tomorrow. now i know that i will have to leave three hours early to get to work. i'll have to set the cruise control and not take off when i hit the part of the highway that is so open and inviting. hahhaha!!! no tickets for me!!!! the aussie and i were trying to figure out the whole camping trip and we think that memorial day weekend (may 28-30th) would be a good as far as amount of time and weather. any reasons to oppose? surely everyone knows that they are invited. nice shirt is in too, so that's three. who wants to help sis #4 move? she's already bribing me with mountain dew live wire and lawn furniture that i can't fit into my car to take. the thing is that she is going to move twice. she has to be out of her current place by the end of march and her new place won't be ready until september. i believe the course of action is to get one of those storage pods that they drop off and pick up. she uses pea pod a lot too even though she lives right by three grocery stores. she said that she likes shopping with her pajamas on. i don't see the problem with going to the store like that. reeka spent a whole year in her pajamas and didn't die. i feel the need to hang out with sis #4 a lot in this last month. milwaukee isn't that far, but it will be much harder to stop by. now milwaukee has trumped chicago as far as parental or other sibling visits. sis #1 lives in milwaukee and sis #4 has always been the neutral place to go. now i'm going to have to haul it all the way to milwaukee everytime there is a relative in town. boooo! i know this is all very exciting for you to read, but i hate leaving the city on the weekends and i want to share my pain with everyone. maybe i can hitch a ride with the surfer.

reeka

2005-03-03T07:26:00.000-06:00

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this girl can make anything i do into a torturous tease. i use to get nervous when i knew she would have the oppurtunity to gang up on me with others. she is 1 of 3 people in the world that can verify the pumpkin win.

nice shirt

2005-03-03T05:02:00.000-06:00

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she has an excellent ear and a mouth that is solidly shut. believe me, i've tried to get information out of this girl before and i failed hard. maybe a lot of liquor and ice cream would work. she has the world's largest database of pick up lines in her brain.

pulling

2005-03-02T12:08:00.000-06:00

staples out of carpeting is a hard task, but i shall not quit until my cube is staple free. i pick them out as i see them. it could take years. an ex coworker use to fill his stapler with the staples in mine. that was always so funny. i never busted him in the act, but since i refuse to print things when i can access them electronically, i don't do much stapling either, but it was always empty when i went to use it. so basically whenever i went to use it as a gun to ward off other coworkers....i'd have nothing. i got in trouble for having vitamins in high school once. i was able to see how much of an idiot my principal was when he was waving the pills that had the "one a day" brand logo stamped into them while he asked me what they were and how did i get them. well sir, they are a daily balance of all the vitamins that my body needs to stay healthy and my mother purchased them at wal-mart. apparently i was wrong for giving them to the huge percentage of anorexics in the school and i should have just stood around watching friends wither away like the staff was doing. in my mind, if they were allowing some sort of nutrients into their body.....eventually they might eat a salad and keep it down. sure, maybe they were thinking that if they took the vitamin they wouldn't need anything else, but they were already doing the not eating part. why am i rambling about this? well, i'm taking a late lunch and i am hungry and when i get hungry i think about them never eating and how they went on like it was no big deal and seemed fine to most people. then again, the principal was the old basketball coach and had no training at all, so why would i expect more. on a better note, something happened to my palm and i have lost ALL of my data and i certainly have not synced it with a computer in years due to it not being able to. damn. now to find my sister's address to send her a birthday card.

people

2005-03-01T16:12:00.000-06:00

at my place of employment are ridiculous. on my way to lunch, i noticed that there was thousand island dressing splattered all over the wall and floor in the hallway by the door. no one even attempted to wipe it off, but instead left it for the cleaning crew to find. i guess i can't talk since there was a candy wrapper laying on the bathroom floor right by the door for a whole weekend once. i took the day off and slept all day again yesterday. i'm just not liking mondays at all. it's been very easy for me to talk myself into staying home. the girl stayed home with me yesterday and she stayed home today too. she is actually sick though. i got to play nurse and participate in many naps. have i ever said that i hate little big man and that he is a slimy little prick? my work morning started out with him telling me that the company has been working on a good relationship with some guy and yesterday due to me not being here, no one was able to literally copy and paste something for him and now he is mad and all of his work has gone down the drain. this all happened while he had the document open and he pointed and said "you need to add this sentence right here." hmmmm.....no one could do that all day yesterday? do it yourself you stupid fuck and stop trying to pin everything on me. i am completely guilt free over it. alas, it is 4:30 and my work brain is shutting off.

very

2005-02-25T12:35:00.000-06:00

nice. we have to write self reviews here and then we give that to our boss and then they can know what we do and then they write our review. well, little big man sent out an email to us asking for our input on his self review. he went on and on about how he wants us to be honest. rrrrright. there is no way that i am telling him how i really feel while i still work here. i'm sure that no one has the balls to do so. it will equal more chaos or no job. he surely knows this and i think it is one huge set up cause the man has been screwing up hard lately and he needs all of these letters to present to his boss to show that he is doing a good job. i think it is a brilliant plan, but i believe that i will have to counter that plan with a plan of my own. i'm going to see if everyone would want to send it in via an anonymous email account. there are a few ways that this can fail a) someone rats me out for coming up with it b) no one uses it but me c) the idiots here put their name on it anyway d) some are going for a major kiss ass either way. i really don't have it in me to praise him and i can't see how a few others would want to either. am i being evil or am i just trying to be fair? maybe i can stand outside of his office with a petition and gather a small sit down in the lobby or i can just keep correcting him in front of everyone like usual. other than that, while i was walking around with a pen in my hand, i marked all over my shirt. yay!

when

2005-02-24T09:40:00.000-06:00

i sit really still, i can barely feel my headache. i combated it with tylenol and mountain dew and it is much better, but i feel it lurking. there is a fine line between enough caffeine to help my head and too much caffeine that leads to an upset stomach. the specialist is down to about thirty days for her arrival back here in the states. i think she has had an official count down for about three months now. probably more like a year. it's going to be cool to have her around. i didn't really get to hang out with her before she left. the girl and her have the same sense of humor and i am prepared to become the butt of many jokes. i am also prepared to come in third at games instead of second. i assume that we should play risk a few times and get that out of our system prior to her arrival. i want to throw everyone in my car and drive to my parent's farm for some camping this summer. i can almost feel the warm air and smell the grass. i assure you that the five hour drive is most certainly worth it. we can just lay around in the grass and stare off into space listening to little creatures scamper around. then everyone can see how fast i can run when i see a snake, or a twig that resembles a snake, or wind that goes through the leaves like a snake or if i just start having a memory of a time i saw a snake. it's almost my birthday month bitches!!!!

the specialist

2005-02-24T04:24:00.000-06:00

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the girl's little sister. the other half of the world's largest human movie database. she wants to be a marathon runner. i will buy boca burgers for her. i think she might be able to beat up the girl now.

four

2005-02-23T12:51:00.000-06:00

hour long meetings are awesome. key things that i love about them: sitting next to someone who would be angered by you doodling, people going way off topic and making it even longer, getting cold air blown on you and then getting sweaty hot, then getting cold air blown on you and certainly then getting sweaty hot, breaking your pen, running out of mountain dew, sitting in front of the guy who keeps slamming papers around, watching the guy who keeps dosing off, getting asked a question when in your head you have been thinking of a shopping list and have no idea what the question was, thinking that you are almost done and then they go off topic again, tapping loudly, noticing that you have been tapping loudly and at the end realizing that the guy who ran the meeting didn't cover the actual reason that you were in the meeting, but in fact covered the opposite.

yesterday

2005-02-22T11:08:00.000-06:00

i took the day off and slept and slept. in the morning before i called in i thought of things that needed to be done around the house to justify my staying home for more reasons than making sure that big al and kimono made it off alright. i came up with a pretty good list during my between snooze alarm napping, but as soon as they were out the door, i crashed and didn't get up until i would have been getting off of work. so screw the list. then i went to bed early. heh. it was a good weekend though. big al and i discovered that we have had matching keyboards this whole time and that kimono is the only one that can truly play them. the girl got to see a different side of me. i think she approves of the spontaneous interviews about various products and loud noise making. i'm glad that my core gets along with my other half. that goes for the newbies too.

blowing

2005-02-18T10:29:00.000-06:00

my nose into a napkin that had things written on it probably wasn't the smartest thing that i have done this morning. other than that, the battling of trying to stop things before they become habit and the norm is taking a toll on me. i really don't know what to do. if i take it lightly, then it won't be thought about and will most likely happen again and there i am miserable and upset and further away from getting it as a whole resolved, but if i stick up for myself and try to hold on to some dignity, well then it gets escalated and out of control. then i end up the bad one when all i was trying to do was say "hey, i'm not the bad one! i just got here! i don't deserve this arrest!" i'm afraid of what might grow if i just take it and move on without disputing it. on the work front, a customer that always wants information from me within minutes is just now looking at reports that i sent them in late 2003 - early 2004. my kind words to them next time they need the report within minutes is "FUCK OFF". my hands have a slight bleach smell to them and i can't figure out where it came from. i'm going to blame the lotion.

tra

2005-02-17T12:55:00.000-06:00

la, la, la, la little big man hurt his back and went to the doctor. he could get medicine and be gone for days, weeks, months! or he could be back in an hour, either way after his parading around the office yesterday all fired up, angry and hitting things, one minute of him being out of the building is pure pleasure. things have been so busy lately that the girl hasn't even been able to give me my one year review. i have hers all charted and graphed, but i will have to wait till next week maybe. on our actual anniversary, her car broke down and we did that whole thing with a dinner between pick ups and car swapping. last night i went all crazy cleaning the house for big al and kimono's arrival. all i have left is the bathroom and the dreaded five loads of laundry to fold. i'll chug some mountain dew and get on that or i'll just shove it in the closet and shut the door. hmmmm......tempting. brainstorming always finds the answer. this morning a cop was flying down the highway in all of his get out of the way glory and i jumped behind him (plenty of room between us) because he was doing a fine job of clearing a path for me. then he hit an exit and turned all of his stuff off and went up the ramp like normal. nice.

vans

2005-02-16T10:43:00.000-06:00

should just come with a bumper that says "there is a large gap in traffic in front of me even though there is no way that you can see it. even though we are in the passing lane, i will not be passing anyone soon and for that matter, the lane of people that i am suppose to be passing at this time can see the gap and are actually passing me. you will not be able to pass me because the lane beside us is whipping past us with no gaps due to the excitement of getting to enjoy the large gap that i have already stated is in front of me and alas will always stay the same no matter how many people fill it due to my constant braking everytime i come within 1/4 mile of the vehicle in front of me. thank you and praise jesus, 4 more years, save the eggs, kill the people who fell through the system cracks, send more troops, speak english or leave and questioning the media or government is treason."

leftover

2005-02-15T12:23:00.000-06:00

lasagna is always a treat. i'll eat it warm or cold. i don't care. it's good either way. the real advantage to eating it cold is that i don't burn myself, which i just did. it's a roof of the mouth in the back burn. a few days ago the girl and i grabbed a bit to eat at some bus stop grease pit. it was a long narrow room. right behind the order taker was the cook and the grill. literally right behind. they would both have to turn sideways to pass each other. when we were giving our order it was quite obvious that the cook could hear us too since he was just as close, but the order taker actually yelled back the order to him. he just stared off into space since this surely happens all of the time and will never stop. little big man told his wife "happy thanksgiving" yesterday. i think he needs to take a vacation. that would benefit everyone. no fingers man wrote envirement on a board for everyone to see today and he wrote everything before the meeting so it wasn't a time/under pressure thing. i think i'll spend the rest of the day trying to determine the thread count of the material on my cube wall.

happy

2005-02-14T10:56:00.000-06:00

valentimes day. yep, i said it like that for years. i'm not sure why. r&b michelle reminds me of it every year. i had to practice saying it right and by our senior year, i was on track. friday night the girl and i went to a movie and she was balling during it. due to cosmic events that i can not control, she ended up making fun of me all night for not crying instead of me making fun of her. that is so not right. then we rushed home to exchange gifts that we were actually suppose to give each other today, but it was close enough. i look very stylish in my new jacket and pants. they are a mixture of my favorites - puma and green, so you can't go wrong. she scored on the sizes too and yes she moved the damn things after i figured out that they were in the closet. i bestowed upon her the 3 most important things in life. video game, dvd and cd. the video game is some shoot 'em up bang, bang called mercenaries something, the dvd turned out to be one that we already had (ooops) and the cd was a guilty pleasure that will go unnamed that i sacrificed my rep on to go into the store to get it so she wouldn't have to. i use to make my nieces do that for me with the spice girls. (hey, that is some genius bubble gum pop and i enjoy all the genres - i'll fight you for bad words about them) i would take them shopping with me and then i would have them walk around with the cd or movie and when we got to the check out they would plop it on the counter and i would say something like "i guess i'll get you that, but we'll have to skip the movie then". heh. then i would have to take them to a movie as payment for the deed. i just got out of an hour long meeting where i could see trains go by and i spent the time trying to figure out if you double stack semi trailers, if shipping would be faster and cheaper in a huge bulk. then we could get rid of all the damn semis taking up the highway and blocking all the lanes. a problem would occur when you needed to distribute on a smaller scale, but at least i had something to think about. the only thing i learned during the meeting is that no fingers man is wearing patterned socks, but one of them is on inside out.

r&b michelle

2005-02-14T07:33:00.000-06:00

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she was a newbie in fourth grade. in high school she would write my english reports for some cash exchange and then she would be mad because i would get the one with the higher grade. we have the same exact laugh and we can't stop when we get going. we can't beat each other at arm wrestling either.

ring,

2005-02-11T15:14:00.000-06:00

ring, ring...."i'm not here right now......blah, blah, blah...........thanks and have a quality day!." this is what i just got to hear when i called a guy at another company that works for the quality department. really. try to be a little bit more lame. also today, i was looking at some warranty returns and one was described to have the following problem "cruise control won't operate sometimes when it rains and sometimes when it is dry out". hmmmm.....my guess is that the weather isn't really the problem, but thanks for the precise information. one time i was visiting the glorious gm. of course everything runs smoothly, people are happy, nice and of the intellectual elite at their facilities. i was handed a switch that had a chunk of freezer tape on it that stated "piece of shit" and nothing else. let me figure out the problem with that one right away. p.s. i still have that switch and i never did anything with it. it's my little trophy.

lunch

2005-02-11T12:58:00.000-06:00

was all about cash. usually right before the lunch rush, sometimes fast food restaurants add an extra drawer or two. well, i went to mcdonald's today and the man in front of me was yelling that he gave the kid a $20 and he didn't get his change back. the kid replied with "sir, i thought it was a $5." the man then opened his wallet and showed it like every wallet is suppose to have at least 1 $20 in it at all times and everyone could plainly see that he had used his. well, the kid had the manager come over. she opened the drawer and then picked it up to show him that it was a fresh drawer and that there weren't any $20s in it at all. he replied with "oh. i guess i'm having a bad day." then walked away without giving any apologies to the kid he had just screamed at. i then dashed to target and got some cash back with my purchase and as i walked out the door i was separating the cash from the receipt and i dropped the cash, but didn't notice it until i was across the street. i wouldn't have noticed at all, but i couldn't feel it so i dug through my pants pocket for it. i could see it so i played frogger with the traffic to get to it before the wind or someone else. i use to lose cash all of the time. i remember always counting and being confused. i found $10 once when i was running through a ditch. don't ask.

paybacks

2005-02-10T09:42:00.000-06:00

are a bitch. during the christmas season i hid the girl's gifts around the house in cabinets and drawers and such. i teased her like crazy about it too. well, she informed me last night that my anniversary gift is in the closet, my part of the closet and has been there for a few days. why haven't i seen it yet? well, a) i try to use the clean clothes that are in a pile on the floor first so i don't have to hang them up, b) i only get in there in the morning when my eyes are half shut and the room is dark so that i don't wake the sleeping and c) i assume it's on the end of the closet where the undecided clothes live - i don't really want to wear them, but i might need them so i don't want to give them away. from the other side of the room i looked in the closet, but she told me that i wouldn't be able to see it from there. then i promised that i wouldn't go digging to look for it. this morning i turned on the light in the closet to see what i was picking out from the pile and naturally i scanned the closet with my eyes (no hands!) and i still couldn't see anything!! maybe she moved it after i crashed for the evening. either way, it's driving me crazy. i want to just rip all the clothes down and see what's in there, but i said i wouldn't. come to think of it, my mom use to do the same thing. i had a couch in my room so all the clean clothes lived there. she would have to tell me that my gift was in there. closets are a waste of space for me, unless i'm having company, then it's a goldmine. never look in there if you come over. hahahahaha i just compared you to my mom......take that!!

all

2005-02-09T14:46:00.000-06:00

of this bathroom talk has reminded me of another story that i hold dear to my heart. i went to our plant in mexico with three other coworkers from here. we went out to eat and had some drinks with our coworkers from there. we then hit the border at a peak time and the line was long, long, long. i was all cozy in the back of the van when i heard the driver talking about having to pee really bad and he didn't think he was going to make it. i wasn't with bosses or anything and these people were pretty cool so i proposed that i would take the driver seat and he can empty his bladder into my empty water bottle in the back of the van. technically, i wasn't worried about his well being....i just wanted to see if he would do it. it took some convincing and promising that we wouldn't look, listen or tell anyone at work and he went for it. i cranked up the radio and i could still hear him a bit. it was awesome!!! the other girls were laughing their asses off. he was all nervous frantic when he finished, but later said that he felt a ton better and it saved him. instead of having wet pants...he only had a little bit of wetness on his shoe. i became a front seat sitter.

that

2005-02-08T13:24:00.000-06:00

was boring and told me nothing. it was full of quotes made by other people and lists of movies and tv shows. lame ones. heh. the bathroom here at work has about 15 stalls in it. i chose the first one on my last visit and someone came in right behind me and took the one next to it. WHY???!? in those situations i go way to the other end. give a girl some room if you can. damn! i think i'm suppose to measure some parts or something today. maybe if i pretend that they aren't laying out on my desk next to a drawing with all of the specifications all highlighted for me, i can continue my day without having to get up from my warm chair. then i can just deal with it tomorrow. "oh, you wanted me to measure those? i couldn't tell what they were on my desk for." i want in on that whole blonde thing. they have us all fooled and they don't ever have to do anything or take real responsibility. they just point at their hair and give a blank look smile. "i thought the one way sign meant that i couldn't turn around and come back."

today

2005-02-08T11:37:00.000-06:00

i have made the choice to entertain myself by reading a blog of a person that i probably shouldn't, but i guess i'm into self torture. you see, i know what this girl looks like and i've heard a few stories here and there about her, but i don't know her and i feel like i should since i sleep with what is technically her stuffed animal every night. she's a web designer so at first look i've already been intimidated. what am i looking for? i don't know. i guess mainly i am curious and there is this sick need for me to compare us. i know i shouldn't do that with only a glossy cover available, but a little head numbing never hurt anyone.

waltzing

2005-02-04T15:10:00.000-06:00

around upstairs here, i came upon a woman who is sitting at her desk in her cube on a pilates ball. if i could get by with documenting that with a picture for you, believe me, i wouldn't hesitate. during some conversation with others i have found that she has been doing that for quite awhile now. she has broken the chains that bind us all to a chair and is now free. really? what could the benefit of that be? can i bring in a massaging recliner complete with drink holder? sister #4 had one pilates ball and the only use it ever got was niece #2 and me sitting on top of it while the other tried to kick the sitter off and suburbian "what's wrong with our neighbors" kick ball. hahaha i should see if she still has it and set up a game. which reminds me of the time that there was a killer storm about to break on us and we were all standing outside checking it out. a neighbor yelled out the window "get inside! it's not safe". hello!! we are from the country! a big storm coming through might be our highlight for the month. we are going to stand outside and enjoy it! it's hard to break a 20 year habit.

niece #2

2005-02-04T13:23:00.000-06:00

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she is the daughter of sis #4 and the newest baby i have been able to view. i was in the 4th grade and got pulled out of a party to go to the hospital and watch the nurse change her dirty diaper. she's never been cuter.

does

2005-02-03T15:27:00.000-06:00

there happen to be a saxophone in my car? why yes, there just happens to be. what am i going to do with it? nothing. why do i have it? just in case i want to try and play it sometime. do i remember how? no. am i going to relearn it? no. again, why do i have it? the case is a good height to put my feet up on while sitting on the couch. am i going to fall asleep at work? yes. any second now. would anyone notice? no. i believe it would not be detected. why don't i go for it? i feel like my next sleep is going to be a drooler and i don't want to short out my keyboard and ruin my activities during the waking hours. where is everyone today or the last few days for that matter? i have no effing idea. is this post going to bore the bored? yes, absolutely. do i feel the need to entertain everytime i post? uuummmm...that would be a no. is relearn a word? i don't think so, but neither is drooler, effing and i think everytime i suppose to be two words.

bulbs

2005-02-03T13:35:00.000-06:00

nerdify me. i get to play with little ones at work. hmmm.....to give you a size reference, i can fit about 8 of them on a penny. they are so cute. i love trying to figure out what's wrong with them. no one else at work likes to mess with them, but i have a special relationship with them. we buy them from another company and then put them into our stuff. i get to look at them and figure them out before the people who make them get a chance to put in their opinion. i love using the microscope to take pictures of the problem area and draw on the board to communicate to everyone what i think is going on inside. hahahaha my drawings are horrible because i babble while i draw and i don't do separate pictures so by the end of drawn 5 pictures on top of one and it looks like a blob of marker. well, i just think that people need to pay closer attention while i draw. well, now i have to help make a proposal to phase out using bulbs and start using leds in everything. how can i do that? i love bulbs! leds are all cloudy and even smaller and they never have anything wrong with them except for being chipped and that's just plain boring. what will give me a bit of hope to do something for the day? good thing these changes take years. we should be all done by 2008. late 2008.

item

2005-02-02T13:21:00.000-06:00

# 3 on my lost list, one glove, has been found in the girl's pants. heh. although a better story could be easily told with the previous information, it was just a laundry occurrence. so it seems that the bass has given in to the pressures and is going to have a president's day weekend party. that is if the pilot doesn't have to go to work at 4 in the morning. i wouldn't want to start a trend of drunk pilots. who votes for a costume party? after calculating all of the votes in my district, there is 1 vote for costumes and 0 votes for no costumes. there was also a write in vote for "coolest person to ever grace anyone's presence - andrea". i'm blushing.

the pilot

2005-02-02T13:18:00.000-06:00

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the bass's roomie. she kind of gets what i get paid for to do at work. she loves waiting for a gate when her hours are close to her getting the next day off. she gets to hear cowboy over and over and over.

the bass

2005-02-02T13:11:00.000-06:00

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hey! ho! ha! she teaches history the way it should be......truthful......without all the american hero cover ups. my brain does not have the capacity to store all of her one liners. or the will. snare, snare, snare, CRASH!

things

2005-02-01T13:29:00.000-06:00

i have lost in the past week:
*my ski mask - now i can't dilly dally while outside and my funds are going to run low
*my devil horn stocking cap - one of my favorite accessories - damn
*one glove - i've been wearing the one i have while keeping my other hand in my pocket
*my right to talk shit on the court - the surfer stuffed my shot last night at practice
*my patience on the highway - attention drivers, the highway is clear of snow and ice
*january 2005 - i'm disputing that there was actually 31 days in there
*my cool at work - hello i can hear you talking about me over the cubicle wall bitches
*the will to wash my car - i'm sure there will be a nice rain sometime soon
*my comedy channel addiction - i've been listening to music, music, music!

things i have gained in the past week:
*a sore belly - the girl makes me laugh all the time
*a free mountain dew product - twist and win baby
*great music news - new sleater kinney album and tour! (the musician knows all)
*a skip in my step - due to the thought of big al and kimono visiting
*an idea for another gift - the big day is coming
*a lunch from my sister - i shall collect tomorrow
*a way to spend my vacation time - i'm going to have to pass on the aussie going home party though, i hope others can travel with
*an ego boost - i believe that shot was a swish
*$0.01 - a coworker threw it at me, i have no shame

the surfer

2005-02-01T11:53:00.000-06:00

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we were both newbies on the spin basketball team last year. she let's me babysit her cats. she's obsessed with jordan. she knows how it feels to spend all day in wisconsin. you'll never be hungry or thirsty at her house.

oh

2005-01-31T15:35:00.000-06:00

glorious day! i have just been notified that big al and kimono might be paying me a visit in the big city during president's day weekend!!!!!!! i've been pouting about not seeing them for awhile now. i saw them at christmas, but it's never enough and i missed out on new year's and the aberdeen visit with them and there's been a gap in my spirit ever since. it will be cool if they can make it and i will understand if they can't. my fingers are crossed. i actually got so home sick saturday morning when i woke up that i thought i was going to be upset and crying all day. i talked to my parents on the phone for an hour and that helped, but this, this will sooth me for a couple of months. it's weird to be away when i am here and it's weird to be away when i am there. i'm really lucky that people come up here to visit sometimes because it's hard to go back all of the time. plus, the friends must merge!!!! the band will play and the girls will rock the mic!!!! after they are done.......the band will be a faint memory. due to all of the alcohol consumption of course.

once

2005-01-31T14:58:00.000-06:00

again i may be lucky. a conference call has been scheduled at 4:30. that happens to also be the time that i leave. i haven't been told yet that i have to attend, but i have a feeling that it will happen soon. what will i be doing during said call? well, i will be sitting there staring out at the melting snow thinking about how bad traffic is going to be by the time i get out of here and that i'll need to grab something to eat during the drive before basketball practice. this will go on in my head while two people argue about something instead of calling the person from a third company that has all of the answers. i'll never understand that. saturday little big man sent out an email to everyone here some questions that needed to be answered early in the morning. it seems simple enough, but the people who have all of the answers are in germany and are getting off of work when we come in. he told me to email them and then got mad when i told him that we won't get the answers till tomorrow. ummmmm? why didn't you email them on saturday? we go through all of these channels when you can go to the direct person? espescially when you need certain answers by a certain time because for the most part when i do this (send a list of questions - more questions are asked about the answers) so why don't you just call them because i don't know what you are going to ask and i'm not going to call them twenty times a day because soon they won't want to talk to me at all. so let's have a meeting today about the answers that we will be getting tomorrow. that won't be a waste of anyone's time.