no fingers man

this is a coworker who works in my department and sits on the other side of one of my 3 huge cube walls. he is an engineer who picked coming into the quality group instead of being shown the door. he only has two fingers on his left hand. i've heard that it's due to fireworks. he's in his late 50's early 60's. he screams on the phone due to his own bad hearing and talks to himself constantly. CONSTANTLY. during the adjustment period to this new addition to the group, everyone thought he was talking to one of us. "what did you say?" "oh, i was just talking to myself." then we started ignoring him and when he did talk to us we didn't know. "andrea, andrea, so what do you think?" "what do i think about what? i wasn't listening, i assumed that you were talking to yourself again." all day he says things like "i need to email that guy - now what was his name?" "well i thought i'd get ahead today, but i'm already an hour behind" "well, what's this?" "hey, heeeey!" "boy, am i hungry, it must be close to lunch time" "where did i put that file?" "i wonder if i should just call" "i'm going to have to fit in a bathroom break sometime today". he's the energizer of annoyance. conversations that should take 2 minutes take an hour with him and i spend my whole day trying not to end up in the same meetings with him. just last week a meeting that was scheduled for 30 minutes ended in 90 minutes and only because someone on the phone said that it was 6 where she was and needed to go home. i went in and out of that one several times.